Workflow

Nothing will reveal the strengths and weaknesses of your personal workflow like a 3-day video shoot, with the final 30-minute video due on the 4th day. I haven't decided if it is insane, impossible, or improbable, but I think taking these projects every once and a while could be a good thing. Maybe it's God's light shining in how I do things, how long I think on things, and just getting things done and moving to the next project.

These are my thoughts this early morning. I am getting too old to stay up all night. I remember when I could go no problem, but after 8-hours of shooting, which is enough to wear anyone out, an all-night editing spree seems crazy. I think I am repeating myself. Time to get back to editing.

Capturing an Experience

I sit here waiting for the video to capture onto my computer that I shot today at the Kid's Camp that my church was a part of. Today was day three of four and shot three more hours of footage, adding to the five hours of day one and two.

Yesterday was pretty nasty as rain soaked everything and a lot of the activities were sent indoors and everywhere there was a covered space, but today the sun was shining, the outdoor activities were in full force and fun, creative shots were in force.

Now the fun begins in putting together a video for the past few days by 12 noon tomorrow. I have the soda chilled and ready, and once the capturing is done, I'll be off and editing.

I only went to a kid camp once as a kid, and all I remember was chickening out on the zip line. My thought today was that if the zip lines were as safe today, I think I would have went down the line. Instead, I had to contend with a plastic swing seat with a scary chain to the zip line. Pretty interesting the things we hold onto.

Journey Down the Road of Meaning (35 MPH vs. 1 MPH)

I have several things going through my head today. The first has to do with some reoccurring dreams that I have been having over the past six months usually entailing me being trapped in my old job and never being able to find the way out. But last night there were some new developments. First, I was being chased by Sylar from the television show "Heroes," and second I was being helped by my friend Loren.

As I went on a walk this afternoon, I was pondering about what that dream meant. Now, it's obvious what the reoccurring dream about being trapped in my old place of work says, but what about Sylar? In "Heroes" he was the evil villain who stalked the people with superpowers so that he could take those abilities for himself, killing the hero in the process. So, putting all of the three elements together, I am in the process of escaping my old ways, being helped in the process by my friend Loren, but the enemy is unhappy and is hunting me down so that he can take away what makes me unique.

What an interesting dream. Isn't it amazing that when you have such an epic dream that you wake up feeling exhausted and worn out?

The second thought going through my mind has to do with breaking out of the monotony of a mundane life. Metaphorically speaking, I have been trying to speed down the road of life doing 120 MPH, but I finally got busted by the cops and I'm forced to go down the road of life at walking speeds and what amazing sites you actually see and experience.

For the first time in a long time, I am actually attempting some new ideas on projects that I am working on. The past two days have been spent doing some new type of animation in After Effects, and I am excited as it takes shape and is different than a lot of things that I have done lately. I slowed down and took the time to actually try new things. How exciting!

What got me thinking about this was a walk I just took. I walked down 28th street to the corner Chevron. Normally, I am doing 35 MPH down this road, but I was amazed at what I saw and how much larger and open my world actually is.

If we could actually slow down more often, our lives would be that much more enriching and worthwhile, and just perhaps we would have something to be passionate about, instead of feeling tired and burnt out.

Weight Watchers Week 3

I just finished my third week on Weight Watchers and I have successfully lost 14 pounds so far. It's great! I golfed 18 holes yesterday and it was a little easier than the last time I played.

Willow Creek Arts Conference 2007 (Part 1)

Last week, I had the amazing privilege to go to the Willow Creek Arts Conference in Barrington, Illinois, a suburb of Chicago. For those of you who do not know of Willow Creek, they are a mega-church oriented towards seekers (people who are investing the claims of Christ and the church), and providing conferences in the area of arts, leadership, and just about anything else that is essential for church leaders and members around the world.

I had never been to Willow Creek before last week, and I had heard a lot about the church, mostly negative things, and as I walked through the main doors and wandered through the lobby and main auditorium, those comments replayed in my mind as if I was hearing them for the first time. The lobby reminded me of a convention center. Waterfalls, escalators, elevators, television screens, book kiosks, coffee shops, bookstores, atriums, chairs and benches to sit in, and free wi-fi. When you walk into the main auditorium, it’s like you are walking into a miniature arena. Giant windows frame the stage as a fog machine pumps out enough fog to define each and every light. Three levels of seating provide enough room for thousands of people to be able to gather, while gigantic high-definition video screens provide everyone with the ability to see, with amazing clarity, what is going on. The whipped cream of this audio/visual sundae was the sound system, which easily rivaled anything that I have ever heard at the myriad of concerts that I have been to. As I pushed those comments to the back of my mind, I really wanted to be open to the experience of this place that I have wanted to visit and be open to what I hoped that I would learn and be reminded of: creativity, inspiration, and passion for communicating the truth through art.

My first thought regarding this conference was the impact that it had on me personally and professionally. Before I left, I was getting pretty tired, drained creatively, and unable to be passionate about the work I was doing. Through the keynote speaker Dewitt Jones and breakout session speaker Mark Miller, I learned that in order to continue providing creative and inspirational creative solutions I need to spend the time and energy to keep my creative toolbox full and if I don’t feel passionate or inspired that I should act as if I were passionate and inspired.

Now, it’s not that I didn’t know these things before, but when you open yourself up to needing to hear the truth, you’ll hear what you need to hear with an incredible clarity.

I’m going to continue unpacking the things that I learned on the trip, but for now, I’m pleased to know that I won’t be giving up anytime soon.

Nikon 12-24mm Lens

One of the disadvantages of a Digital SLR is the 1.5x magnification factor on lenses. I have a 24mm lens that is a great wide-angle on my film SLR, but is a worthless 36mm on my DSLR. Thankfully though, Nikon has the very expensive 12-24mm lens (equating to roughly 18-36mm). I have rented it twice from Pro Photo Supply in Portland, and I love the lens! I did a photo shoot yesterday at Renewed Life Day Spa, and it really made the architecture look fabulous. I was able to get the shots that I wanted without wishing the wall behind me was gone. The next lens to rent is the famous 18-200 VR lens that will be on eternal backorder.

Fragrance of Worth

I have been toying with the idea of doing a photography/poetry book, something that would merge my love for writing and for photography. After dragging my feet for a couple of years, I have decided that I am going to work on this project all summer long and release a free e-book to anyone interested on September 4, 2007.

Enjoy an excerpt from "Quiet Silence" up above, which is a taste of my vision for this project, and stay tuned for more glimpses along the way.

Going to Chicago

On June 12-15, I get the opportunity to go to the Willow Creek Arts Conference in Chicago, Illinois. I am very excited to go, as I have wanted to go for the past two years, and this year it is finally going to become a reality! More to come about this conference in the coming weeks.

Week 1 Status Report

After one week of Weight Watchers and exercise, I am pleased to report that I weighed in at 282. That is a loss of 4 lbs. Stay tuned each week for a status report!

Five Reasons for Losing Ambition

I just spent the past 20 minutes looking at old designs and artwork that I created between 1998 and 2005 and the first question that came into my mind was, "what happened to my ambition?"

In that period of time I must have changed the design of my website every other month, always experimenting, trying new ideas out, seeing what worked, what didn't work. I had an unlimited amount of time, energy, ambition, and my passion was seemingly endless. But things are a lot different today. Today, I am tired. I lack energy, and the only real motivation is to get stuff done so that I don't have to worry about it anymore. The money doesn't really motivate much anymore. That is perhaps the worst thing that could happen to an artist.

Here are five initial thoughts as to why I think I am in this place of discouragement:

1) Somewhere along the journey from passionate amateur to cynical professional, I let fear enter my creative process. What if this doesn't work? What are people going to think? I began to think too much about my audience and what their expectations were. I worried too much that something wouldn't be accepted because it wasn't perfect. I believed the lie of perfectionism and anything less than that was cause for reprimand, unsatisfied clients, bad grades, and less satisfaction. No longer was I able to learn from my mistakes, because I wasn't going to put anything out that was filled with mistakes. That sentence makes me laugh, sigh, and feel sad all at the same time.

2) I lost my desire to experiment with new ideas and learn new techniques. I would tell myself, and sadly still do, that there is no time for experimenting, because time is money, and my clients need there stuff done now. But if I was to take that mindset and really analyze it, eventually I would run out of ideas, energy and passion, just from the number of projects I have done in this decade. Without experimenting and trying new things, how do I ever expect to grow not only my in my abilities, but in the collection of ideas, techniques and confidence in what I can do?

3) I would give up on an idea in the middle of pre-production if I felt that I couldn't get it right in that very same day. Lie #3: "The only worthy idea is one that can be easily created in one day, on the spot." LIES! I am one guy, not a studio of 20, 30, 5, 100, 1,000. One guy. I'm not superman. I'm not Wonder Woman, Batman, or even Spiderman. I'm not a hero or a villain, I'm just one normal guy that loves art. Why don't I live that way?

4) I gave up thinking that I had anything worthwhile to say. So, what am I doing being an artist if I believe that I have nothing worthwhile to say. That is really the best question for me to consider right now. Answer: I can't imagine what else I would do, I love art and creativity, and I have just lost my way right now.

5) I bought all the equipment that I said that I would ever need to create works of art, only to keep looking at what everyone else was doing and told myself that I would never be able to do what they do. Thus, lusting after the bigger and better equipment that would put me in the realm of being able to successfully accomplish what others were able to accomplish.

I am saying all this right now because it is all a part of my life change. I am putting my life on a slide and looking at it through a microscope. So far, what I see, is exactly what I have told myself is not there, and it is time to stop believing in the lies that have gotten me far from the truth, and the freedom that ultimately comes from truth.

The truth is that no matter how perfect I think I can be, all I am is a wretch, corrupt to the core of my being, in need of mercy and grace. Thank God for His graciousness and His faithfulness.

In the words of Delirious, "investigate my life and make me clean."