Wednesday, January 28, 2009

A Backup Nightmare Over

Found what I was looking for on the drive I should have started with.

A Backup Nightmare, Pt. 2

It's not on this one. Or that one.

A Backup Nightmare

Where is it? It's on one of my backup drives.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Three Leaves on a Branch

Three leaves on a branch, hang in the midst of fog, bathing in morning dew, not knowing whether today is the day that they fall and are swept away.

They could live in fear of the leaf blower. The street sweeper. The incinerator. But all they know is that today is the day that they live. And that it is enough for them to enjoy all that they see from their view. People going to work, joking with one another at a locked door; an old man on his morning walk. The simplicity of a man sitting in his car staring at three leaves on a branch as he waits for a meeting with the people going to work, joking with one another at a locked door.

All good and beautiful things of life that drown out the noise and propaganda of the real world, and the pain that will come when the three leaves on a branch fall and are swept away.

Friday, January 23, 2009

The Million Dollar Question

If you had a million dollars, what would you do? A seemingly simple question, evoking a certain feeling of far-off dreams stored deep inside of the person being asked. A twinkle fills the eye. All of life's boredom disappears for a brief moment. Then it all returns. Haze. Boredom. Mundane. Life.

I have thought a lot about that question lately, not because I wish that I had a million dollars, but more in line with the question of what is it that motivates me to accomplish the dreams in my heart?

We often ask that question of one another in an attempt to learn more. But is it really a good question to ask? Does it really get us closer to knowing a person? Does it get the person closer to the dreams that they think of for a brief second? Or does it further the frustration of the life they haven't lived?

These are questions that I have been wrestling with in the past month as I pursue the twinkle in my eye. The dream in my heart. The stories that I long to tell.

The most important thing that I have learned, is that it hasn't taken a million dollars to get me to do the things that I want to do. It has been honesty. Being honest with others, myself, and a realization that I'm not too far away from doing what it is I really want to be doing. I was just afraid of fully committing because of fear.

Money can never make you unafraid of the things that scare you. In some ways, it makes you even more afraid. Paranoia. Fear. Trembling.

And learning to do what you want to do, in the face of fear, makes you come alive.

That is inspiring, and forever changes the million dollar question to: "What would you like to do, in the face of fear and yourself, that would make you come alive? Regardless of the cost?"